Last month I went to my Paternal and Maternal side. I saw my Mother busy in making Dinner and managing other house stuff. After few weeks I went to my paternal side. The same scenario, my Mother- in law was doing everything. My Mother- in Law showed me some pictures of my Father- in law when he got retired. She was feeling so proud and so thrilled in showing those. She was telling me how everyone in the office has congratulated him and there was a surprise party which she has arranged for him. It’s a day when every Men thinks that he is got Retired from all his work. Now he has Pension or previous investment for the financial support. He has given enough support to his family.

What about us? When do both of my Mothers will say, now we are retired? No more dependency on us. If I feel like making bed tea, then only I will do. There is no Compulsion on that. It’s pity that Women don’t have Retirement criteria. When will we order someone to make Tea for us?

It is always good to be active as long you live but sometime at the age of 60- 65, you may think of taking some rest and say Good bye to Kitchen.

I am enjoying Motherhood a lot but it was not that I always used to love kids. Handling kids were always big NO NO. Talking with kids is an art and I was very poor in that. I always used to get numb with kids, what to talk and how to make funny faces to make them laugh.

After having Nishank (my baby), I have started loving each and every child, as if I have become mother of all. Every kid has something special and making them laugh is like a cup of tea now. I feel proud that I can give all my time to my kid, pampering him, play with him and listens his alien language which only he can understand. Till now all his stages are different and I enjoyed all of them, except the potty thing (I will not get into the details of that).

I have seen some Mothers who always crib about their child, but the one thing which I don’t understand is that why we expect a small child to behave like a matured person. Its their age to explore new things. Excuse me, Nishu has wake up, I have to go now.

Love to all the kids

I am really missing friends these days. Someone with whom I can talk endless, laugh, fights, explore the city and have fun. I have lost all my good friends, not delibratly but everyone has the reason. I am missing all my friends so much.

I think I have become very negative towards life. Two of my previous post were also like this. Its not that I am very sad and weaps entire day but I think I have lost the spark of my life.

Cheers

Now it’s almost been a year since I left my job. I was getting a decent package but I don’t have any grudge of leaving my job. I am engaged in a job which is much more important and has first priority for looking after my child. He is my responsibility, I can’t depend on his paternal and maternal grandparents for that. I know all the reasoning of leaving my job but somehow in the back of my mind, I thought about my job, my salary, my office tours and retreats. I never ever cared about the money but after leaving my job, I started believe that salary does matter.
It was my own salary, I never have to give any account of that to my partner. I could have purchased any crap thing without giving any explanation to anyone. Although my partner never asked for any account but still I can’t spend his salary lavishly. Its not ethical. I don’t know, may be its ethical, the wife have all right on everything of husband. For me, I think thousand times before spending. I feel like I have become very poor, which I am not. I don’t know how other house wives manage it so well. Does they become care free about their husband’s salary and spend it where they want to or like me, think about the utility of the thing twice, thrice …. before actually purchasing it.

Its not a good post, bit confusing. Well you can imagine how difficult it becomes to take time for the blog when you have 7- 8 months old kid. I have written what I was going through, I don’t have time for the editing work.

Since last few days I was thinking what I have get after marriage. I may have thought because of frustration I was going through but today I am much more relaxed to write it down.

1) BEFORE: 2 yrs. back I was like an independent bird. My weekdays were also like weekends. Who says one get tired after office, I used to freak out even after office which used to close down at 1730 hrs. I have gone to all most all the restaurants in South Delhi area. It used to be such a fun. Weekends were in some movie hall with Sandwiches and Popcorns. Even the flop movie used to be so much entertaining.
AFTER: Can somebody tell me what is the difference in Weekdays and Weekends. Oh yes, on weekends, I have to make list of the household items like wheat, rice, oil, vegetables, masala powders etc. etc. It is better to order Pizza at home then to explore new restaurant in the area. No movie makes any wonder, you have to watch it silently for not to disturb husband.

2) BEFORE: Pocket money was the best. I used to take pocket money from my salary (my parents used to take care of my salary). I was like a princess, no tension before purchasing anything. Lee and Levis were my favorite brands for Jeans. I used to experiment variety of clothing, accessories, foot wear etc etc.
AFTER: Lee and Levis are gone, Newport is in. My part time job is to check out if there is any scheme going on like buy 5kg wheat and get 1 kg of sugar free. Its not that my partner tells me to do that, but you have to do because you are managing the finance of the house and you only are responsible for the future savings and investments for your own and for your child.

3) BEFORE: With my close friends I do have the commitment to stand by them but there was no legalities attached to it.
AFTER: I am now legally committed to my partner for life long. Not even in dreams I can think of leaving him. You have to compromise on certain things, whether you like it or not (this goes for both of us)

4) BEFORE: I was carefree, no responsibilities, no dusting, no cleaning, no cooking……
AFTER: Marriage comes with responsibilities towards your family which is actually good. I don’t know why but it is good to get responsible.

There are many other things beside these. There are so many good things as well after marriage but I can’t think of it now. May be sometime later I will mention those.

Have a happy married life to all married couples

I am blessed with baby boy last year. Now everybody can understand why I left. Out of sight, out of mind. I may not have started, but I was very feeling very low today, then thought lets see whats going on my blog. Opened the blog but forgot how to go on Dashboard. My partner revised me everything. I was over whelmed with the comments of my blog friends. Deepak I am not saying Good-bye, not so soon.

After so long, it becomes very difficult how to write. I have problems to share, I have topics to discuss and since I have become mother, I have so many things to write about kid, but don’t know how to begin with. May be after 2- 3 posts I will be back to track.

Let me first introduce my child, his name is Nishank (which means fearless) and he is of 8 months now. I will soon put his picture on my blog.

Now I am going to check out other blogs, will start writing from next post.

Cheers

I am having a tough time with my neighbors. They are Gujrati family. Since from last two weeks I am working from home; so the woman of the family got the chance to interact with me. She is not very much educated, nice in talking but her children are like fevicol. They enter into my home whenever my door is open. Her daughter still has some sense of not touching the stuff but her son is totally out of control. He goes directly into our bedroom; take the stuff which he likes. One day he ate around 8/ 9 mints in one go. I was surprised, although it was very funny. I think some parents pamper their child like anything. I can’t teach that boy not to do this, but at least his mother can do this.

Her daughter’s exams are going on. She told her daughter that she can come to me if she has some problem in studies. I can understand that, to educate a child is a good thing but she comes to me ask the questions from her note book and she will answer. This questionnaire can be done by her mother also, because the answers are available. They are not a poor family where they don’t have resources. She has a coaching teacher as well. For one or two days, it was fine. Now she even comes in afternoon time to ask, when would I be free to teach her. Its going crazy. Teaching her means, attending the entire package which includes her mother visits and her crazy brother.

I don’t how to say “No” to them. I am very shy to refuse something. I am getting very irritated now. Her daughter will come today at 4 pm, I wish if I can vanish for sometime.

Day before yesterday was an eventful day. My partner and I was coming back to home in the auto rickshaw. I was keep on cribbing about the auto driver who kept his auto engine on even on the traffic jam. I was lecturing my partner that these people are responsible for so much pollution. I even complaint the driver also, to stop his engine when the traffic light is for longer period. I have bugged my partner a lot becoz of that. When we were about to reach home, a crazy bike driver who was driving rashly, about to hit the auto rick. On top of that, he made the face, as if he is not guilty. He said something to auto driver, I didn’t listen that, but then all of sudden my partner used a swear language and screamed on him to go. I have never heard my partner using the swear language, that was the first time and he didn’t use the sophisticated version of swear words, it was one of those typical swear.

Generally I am very particular about the use of swear language in public or in front of gals but the other day it became very difficult for me to control my laugh. He was in bad temperament so I can’t dare to laugh. My partner is very silent, kind and peaceful person, it was much unexpected from him. I enjoyed seeing the new version of my partner who can get angry on wrong things when required.

Waiting, this is what I am doing since morning. Due to some problem in office, we have been told to work from home. I was so excited about it, but now I have realized it is so difficult. The resources are limited like printer, scanner, office documents etc etc. Entire day I was on phone trying to get the resources to get the work done. Thousand calls came on my cell. Its more painful then to work from the office. Like my friends, who are thinking that I am enjoying holidays, of course other State Offices must be thinking the same about our office.

At office, I used to take break for an hour for lunch, two hours for chatting and net surfing, half an hour for the chatting with office collogues. At home, I didn’t even get a time to have lunch. Only in 10 mins I have taken some snacks for the lunch. It was so messy. Office outlook express doesn’t work at home PC. I have to check the office mail by web mail, which is also a pain. To open an excel file, it took ages, and if I have to open again, then again it asks for user ID and password. WTH. I even forgot to open my Orkut.

That is not enough. Since morning, I am waiting for the maid; she turned up at 6:30 pm. All the time I was waiting. Now she has gone, I am waiting for my partner. I wish, the bell rings and he comes. Waiting is not at all easy. You can’t concentrate on any other thing; just keep on thinking when the other will turn up.

Ah, I will stop here; hope that tomorrow will be a better day.