Posted by: Nidhi | October 11, 2006

Interference of the neighbors

I am having a tough time with my neighbors. They are Gujrati family. Since from last two weeks I am working from home; so the woman of the family got the chance to interact with me. She is not very much educated, nice in talking but her children are like fevicol. They enter into my home whenever my door is open. Her daughter still has some sense of not touching the stuff but her son is totally out of control. He goes directly into our bedroom; take the stuff which he likes. One day he ate around 8/ 9 mints in one go. I was surprised, although it was very funny. I think some parents pamper their child like anything. I can’t teach that boy not to do this, but at least his mother can do this.

Her daughter’s exams are going on. She told her daughter that she can come to me if she has some problem in studies. I can understand that, to educate a child is a good thing but she comes to me ask the questions from her note book and she will answer. This questionnaire can be done by her mother also, because the answers are available. They are not a poor family where they don’t have resources. She has a coaching teacher as well. For one or two days, it was fine. Now she even comes in afternoon time to ask, when would I be free to teach her. Its going crazy. Teaching her means, attending the entire package which includes her mother visits and her crazy brother.

I don’t how to say “No” to them. I am very shy to refuse something. I am getting very irritated now. Her daughter will come today at 4 pm, I wish if I can vanish for sometime.

Responses

Reminds me of Hrishikesh Mukharjee movies ;-)
Well, you gotta say No when you gotta say No.

Hi Nidhi ,
It generally happens. if u help someone ;next time he/she would expect more help from u and might be addicted for ur help.

i think it would be better if u tell her “NO” if u think that would be right for u.

i hope she would care for her crazy son and her daughter too and would think a bit about u and ur generous behaviours towards her and her children.

tell her ur problem politely. she might understand it. normal people do :p

We need to say no sometimes. However, if you still want to be nice with a neighbor and help the kid for studies, you might want to set aside half hour as convenient and ask them to come around that time only if needed.

or gujratis that bad ?????????????????

Hi,

To be honest, I can not undertand the situation at all. Have a few questions:
1. Why are you teaching the children?
(is there any benefit to you in doing so)

2. How can people just walk in to your house?
(do they not phone you before coming)

3. Why are the kids touching things around your house? - Have you not mentioned it to the mother of the child and that she is responsible if any damage occurs, whether it be to your property or to the child himself. Wow, this is particularly a legal landmine, imagine if the kinds hurts himself and you are sued for callousness.

4. Why are you so kind?
Do you have an attitude to please everyone you meet? Life is tough if that is the case.
You have to speak your thoughts, saying “No” as other posters have already mentioned is the best thing to do.
“No” down the track means you were ok with it all this time, and it creates a lot of hostility.

I am totally surprised. I hardly even know my neighbours. My house is my Kingdom and rest assured there have been rules laid out.

At the least direct your neighbour to this blog.

Have fun,


Aurumbo

oh another question, what does “fevicol” mean?

i always say “sorry, i have a headache, go away!”
it works!

Hi, learn to say ‘NO’. It’s not easy to please everyone at all times.

hi nidhi,

he he he, lagta hai aapki watt lag rahi hai, waise main bhi kabhi na nahi kehta, but we must learn to say NO.

bye for now.

be happy and keep smiling……..

Nidhi, long time…

trying to catch up with ur posts after the train blasts…

keep em coming!

Hey, Nidhi, visiting your blog after like 10 or 11 months and if has just become more interesting.
Anyways, I am suffering from the same problem, the kids just enter my house, start punching my keyboard and the auntie sugests my mom to take me to a baba because the devil has taken over my brain, atheism doesn’t mean I follow the devil.
Anyways, you have to say no to this, try and gain more courage to do it, don’t think they will feel bad, think that you would be saved from the upcoming “nightmares”. :P
Or if you can then talk to your partner on this matter and he might come up with something.

abbey,,,,just teach her —the biology i know……

i mean if she asks you where is the brain located…???

its at the tip of your left little finger…i mean thats true with my case…!!

only if i get a chance to teach some kids,,,,i am sure they wouldnt come the next time……!!!!

just jokin,,,,!!

btw…..YAAAAAAPPPY DIPAWALI /////!!!

ankit.

yeah, it happens sometimes. I agree with others, sometimes you gotta be a bit tough. what you can do is explain the situation politely to the lady that you are not free all day & you are home because your office is undergoing some *blah* & you’ve work from home. if she’s not an idiot she’ll take the hint & not let her child disturb you. if she doesn’t take the hint then simply tell her not to bug you from XX to XX time of day. she might feel offended at this latter type of communique but then you’d have tried the more polite one by then & its clear she wouldn’t understand that, so time to get a bit tough! :)

and Happy Deepawali to you. :)

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Nidhi,
well..learning how (and when) to say no is something that takes practice, especially if you’re someone that is honestly interested in helping everyone you can, or one of one of the many who feels guilty every-time you turn down a request for help.

take care

I guess this one suits your situation — owners pareshani, neighbours manmaani

Nice to see u blogging again

knock,,knock…!!

kahan hoon aap///!!!

seems still busy handling your neighbours..!!

blog back soon…!

god, you’re stuck :|

hey where r u.. no updates on the blog

Saying a No is sometimes the best thing. and learning to say No is an art by itself. I guess the fault is within you for allowing things to go that bad. You should stop them the very first time. Well atleast the sooner the better, beforen they take over every freedom you have…lol

hey Nidhi. I didn’t know that you had gotten back into blogging! that’s great. :-) Ya i definitely can understand what you are going through. You don’t want to be rude to them but there should be a limit. I think its best to talk to the mother in regards about this — that you will help as you can but this cannot go on every single day as you have your own work to complete. Its really basically dependent on the way that you say it. All the best to you!

hey, did u stop blogging too ??
wats the prob ?

I’ve been waiting and waiting and waiting.. when are you posting next yaar?

..probably next year?? :)

Hi Nidhi ,
no updates yaar . whr r u ? hope everything is going fine on ur side.

Change of template!! When is change of post coming?

GBU
Arti

hey nidhi where are you….. hope things are fine… please continue blogging…

its been a long time since u blogged. a merry christmas to you.

Hey Nidhi …

Kahan hai aap? Hope all is well …
Happy New Year girl [am not that late]

GBU
Arti

hi nidhi, whr did u disappear yaar…atleast come bak & say a good good-bye to all ur readers
hoping u come bak
cya

what haps nidhi?? ru fine??
Please come back and start posting

Hi! Nadhi how do you do.I am ashwin from India your blog is very nice

oh u ve been away for a while now..i came bk after a 6 month brk mebbe u shd also do tht :P

it is better to do things in a closed door.

Have you been for a while now? Or you started blogging somewhere else, pass me on the latest link, so I can add it in my blogroll.

dropping by to say hi

abeni

hey

You need to say NO, mebe work out a nice excuse, because neways you will not be able to tolerate this for long and will have to react so why not do it right now

Leave a response

Your response:

Categories