Love marriage and Arrange marriage is one of the popular topic for group discussion and argument. I have not actually choosen this topic for any comparison, its only becoz many times I have an argument with my elders on this.
Since childhood, mom used to say “dont fall in love with anyone”. Parents select right boy, they see family background and other parameters. I used to agree with my parents but as we grow, we become mature and like to take our own decision whether right or wrong. Generally, now girls are smart enough in selecting their partner. They see if the boy is reliable, caring, understanding, loving, educational background, earning capablities. I believe parents are very doubtful on the decision making of the child about the partner. Mostly, girl’s parents. With boys, parents still get convinced about the choice.
Parents understand that time has changed and they cannot compell their decisions on childrens. When I was in College, my parents used to say if the boy is well settled and has good family background they wont mind Love marriage. I used to feel happy, later I understand they are ready for well settled boy but dont give enough time to boy to get settle. They are ready for the good family background but they dont trust the family background of the boy which girl selects. At the end, its all imposing their decisions to daughter and say we were ready but the choice was not right.
The biggest challenges in love marriage is either religion or the settlement of the boy. Generally, we fall in love with the same age group boy, max of 3 yrs difference. Girls parent dont want to wait for so long as they fear if it doesnt workout then who will marry their daughter in the age of 27/ 28. I believe their another major fear is what close relatives will say. I understand their point of view also, but parents doestnt try to understand girl.
Whatever, girl has to suffer a lot because of this. She love parents and her partner also. Its such a difficult decision for her. Parents can never understand that. If I would have a daughter, I will give some flexibilty in taking her own decision. No doubt I will be with her to see whether the boy is good for her or not but will not take decision just presuming that since she has selected so he is not a right choice.
Mine, is no doubt a arrange marriage but I understand the girls who marry against parent wishes.
I am writing the article keeping in mind of Indian society. In other countries, it could be different.
Categories:
probably. I think we should ask from the one who has done love marriage.
I would say a few years ago, I thought all arranged marriage was wrong. But, coming back from university with a more informed point of view I’d say, it falls both ways. As a married person, I would also say that marrriage is about what you put into it rather than what you get out of it. Also getting to know a person on your own terms means you have to do some personal growth (which is a good thing) Although many would see it as a risk, I think it’s worth it.
